30 ways even The Joker beats "The Mavericks"

1. The Joker doesn’t have to repeatedly insist people call him “The Joker”. McCain and Palin are practically begging us to refer to them as the team of “Mavericks”.

2. The Joker selects his partners based on merit rather than image. In preparation for one operation, the Joker not only gained access to some of the most qualified men available, but proceeded to hold “try outs” to ensure his new team member would be the most best of the best in practice as well.

3. The Joker has the etiquette to look his worthy black adversary in the eye during combat. Analysts have pointed out John McCain’s refusal to do the same, even when explicitly instructed to directly address Mr. Obama. Whether McCain’s behavior denotes disrespect or fear, neither would be indicative of strong leadership qualities.

4. The Joker will take definitive measures to bolster the strength of the American dollar. The Joker has already helped fight inflation by burning millions of dollars in cash.

5. The Joker is younger and more durable than John McCain. Conceived in 1940, four years after John McCain was born, The Joker has cheated death dozens of times and has experienced no decline in agility due to age. While his facial tissue scars are more prominent than McCain’s, The Joker has no long term health concerns. In contrast is McCain’s history of skin cancer, heavy smoking, kidney stones, enlarged prostate, high blood pressure, colon polyps, and positional vertigo.

6. The Joker’s military budget is much more efficient than John McCain’s. The Joker likes “dynamite…and gunpowder…and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They’re cheap!” The amount of money the US spends yearly on the military is comparable to the amount of money that could provide 3.5 million children with healthcare.( SANE website 03n-SANE on Dec 31, 2003) I am all for making sure our troops have the best technology available and are as safe as possible, but John McCain’s offensive agenda abroad would put more of our friends, sons, and brothers, in harms way while procrastinating domestic issues that need funding at home.

7. The Joker is more of a “Washington Outsider” than either member of the McCain ticket can claim to be, despite Palin’s repeated claims to this credential. Additionally, The Joker commands a reputation far beyond his residence in Gotham—which, by the way, has a much greater population than Wasilla, Alaska.

8. John McCain’s beloved war has killed many more people than the totality of The Joker’s street operations. Even after “The Surge”, which McCain likes to take credit for, American deaths in Iraq outnumber the body count of The Dark Knight by over 1000 deaths. This figure doesn’t account for non-American casualties, which John McCain is less concerned with.

9. The Joker does not judge the value of a life by the individual’s nationality. John McCain has said, “as long as long as Americans are not being injured or harmed or wounded or killed, then it’s fine with me.” And “So what I believe we can achieve is a reduction in casualties to the point where the Iraqis are doing the fighting and dying…”(Meet the Press: 2008 Meet the Candidates series Jan 6, 2008)

10. The Joker is “a man of his word.” And he will tell you what he’s going to do, straight up.

11. The Joker has consistently accurate and reliable intelligence. He knew not only exactly where the commissioner, judge, and district attorney would be, but exactly how they would react to threats on their life. To successfully execute one of his plans, the joker has never had to invent WMD’s or insist he will be greeted as a liberator.

12. The Joker knows how to speed along negotiations. He actually “brings something to the table”, and makes a difference in talks rather than simply cluttering them for his political means. Take his infiltration of Maroni’s day-time roundtable meeting, for example (aka: “Pencil Incident”). There’s no evidence that McCain actually got anything done or contributed anything particularly meaningful to the bailout discussions last week.

13. The Joker is concerned about the horrifying realities of war enough to realize it isn’t treated seriously enough. The Joker pointed out to Harvey Dent that when things go according to plans, no one freaks out, even if the plan is “Horrifying”—for example, if he were to say a truck full of soldiers would die tomorrow.

14. The Joker exposes corruption and does not accept a system that perpetuates it. “Assuming they are of course, still your men”. John McCain claims to want to crack down, but doesn’t. Oh except for that little “warning” he gave once, 2 years ago, aka the only fact Sarah Palin cites in her speeches and interviews.

15. The Joker doesn’t need 4-5 years to offer an alternative if his operation isn’t going as expected. When the boats full of hostages failed to blow each other up, the Joker was ready with a back up detonator. The surge in Iraq was not implemented until 2007.

16. The Joker represents real change, a desire to “upset the established order,” and with specific instances, demonstrates his ability to achieve this change. Considering their lack of real-life examples, It’s reasonable to postulate the McCain-Palin ticket could be “all talk”.

17. The Joker appreciates the need to take responsibility for one’s own actions, even when they’re not pretty. He leaves a calling card at virtually every murder he is responsible for. John McCain has accepted no responsibility for the deaths in Iraq as a result of the policy he supports, enables, and advocates..

18. The Joker is not ever driven by material or monetary greed. “It’s not about money, it’s about sending a message.” He does not owe allegiance to any corporate or partisan funding sources.

19. The Joker was not handed his position of power by his opponent (Mitt Romney)

20. The Joker was not handed his fortune by his in-laws (McCain married a Beer Distributor’s daughter).

21. The Joker understands the corrupting qualities of money and the dangerous power that can be gained through resource control. “Why don’t we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? And then we’ll see how loyal a hungry dog really is.”

22. The Joker takes a position that leaders who take no action against corruption within their systems should take responsibility for any resulting consequences. He asks Comissioner Gordon if he feels responsible for Harvey and Rachels’ plight, considering the corrupt officials he allowed to work under him.

23. The Joker discloses specific uses of the money he obtains, even in cases of frivolous/potentially embarrassing items. “And the suit wasn’t cheap, you should know… you bought it”

24. The Joker demonstrates a sincere understanding of grave social issues affecting his constituents. His anecdotes about “how he got these scars” reveal an appreciation for the gravity of issues such as domestic abuse, addiction, and the healthcare crisis.

25. The Joker prioritizes fairness and equality over political hierarchy. “The thing about chaos is.. it’s fair”

26. The Joker does not claim to appreciate the universal sanctity of human life while conveniently dismissing it in some cases. The Joker gave a boat full of prisoners the same chance to live as a boat full of civilians, whereas McCain and Palin take “pro-life” stances while still favoring the death penalty.

27. The Joker understands the failures of the justice system and importance of mental health facilities. “Maybe we could share one… they’ll be doubling up..”

28. The Joker undertakes one mission at a time and does not lose his focus. The same cannot be said for what happened in Afghanistan and Iraq.

29. The Joker is willing and able to successfully negotiate with hostile leaders in person. John McCain has said, “The most over-rated aspect of our dialogue about international relations is direct face-to-face talks. BlackBerries work…. The question is are you going to have direct talks, and does that enhance the prestige of the president of Iran, who has said all these things about us…” Additionally, the Joker does not refuse an in person meeting because of some egocentric notion that his mere shaking hands with someone would increase their prestige.

30. The Joker acknowledges the previous administration’s thieves, terrorists, and fiends, and differentiates himself from the administration while accepting his turn to be in charge. Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which *were* true under that fiend, Boss Grissom. He *was* a thief, and a terrorist… He’s dead now, and he’s left me in charge…so, truce. (batman, 1989).